Is it a new day yet?

I feel old, I feel ugly and it's just not a good day. Nuff said.

Is there a mute button for people

Seriously, I think people talk loud to here how wonderful they think they sound. There are two in particular I would just love a button, and one has an office and you can still hear her across the ways. It's so annoying...

Anyways, I just got my dad the coolest gift. I'm tempted to get one for P too, but I think he would get in trouble. It's a car PA system that plays songs, animal noises and whatever you want too. It is going to be a lot of fun. My dad should like it. There's the start of the Christmas shopping for me. I'm usually half way done by now...not this year. I'm also thinking about doing Black Friday shopping, GASP!!

so another annoyance

My brother, who is 23 has an amazingly beautiful baby girl, Mea who's 1 1/2 and has been with the mom for about 6 years...Mom is young, very young. Don't ask..stupid boy never listens. Well anyways, he can't seem to make up his stupid mind on what woman he wants. He's completely being an ass to A and wants her and then doesn't. And this is all in the last couple of months. He's acting like he's 16 and the only person that is getting hurt the most is Mea. It makes me so sad and there is nothing I can do for her. I want to take her, literally take her from them and I can't. A doesn't have a good family life, seriously her mom...major drug user and alcoholic. Sister is insane and very hoochyish (yes that is not a word) and that's where A is staying. I've kept out of it but my brother seems to have no idea or care of what he's doing. A takes care of Mea soley pretty much. It's sad. I hate to see my brother like this. I always thought he would be great with kids.

So my dilemma is if I get all mad at my brother and even A, they can take Mea away for good and I won't ever see her. But I can't stand by either. I mean seriously, it's not good for her. I know I can't make them two be together, but there are things that happen that wants me to hurt them for making her cry. There is no physical abuse though. That i know of. My mom's already spoke up and she hasn't seen Mea for 2 weeks now. I've already seen changes in Mea...she says my name constantly and will not go back to her parents when I'm holding her...and she seems sad. Not as smiling as she used to be. My heart just breaks. Kids having kids I guess....yes my brother is 23, but he acts like he's 16.

So it's been a while

I've decided to vent again on blogger since some of my family is on myspace and it's just been weird. Plus there are children and i have to watch my language...enough is enough. i'm going crazy. the only peace i get with myself is on my way to and from work and that's with traffic...not that soothing. seriously these are the things i miss the most...

-being able to watch a movie or tv show with no one explaining or talking throughout 90% of it
-being able to watch my trashy shows like I love New York or Nip/Tuck without feeling guilty about it
-the ability to eat whatever I want without first looking at cholestorol (i don't know if i can even spell the damn word) or salt or fat...dammit i want fries!
-ability to not worry about always having to get my laundry done before i go to bed

seriously i didn't realize it would be like this...and i for sure didn't know my aunt talked as much as she does...wow!! i love them, i really do...but i'm going crazy. Peter has this lovely thing called a garage...me, i have nothing. i'm followed and talked to all the time. i think it's cause my aunt stays at home and doesn't talk to many other people. i understand to a point, but still...i try to put on head phones and play my nintendo...she still talks. i'm not even watching the show, and she talks. oh god, help me love and be patient and understanding....